You know that feeling when you get into a brand new pair of shoes? It’s like that new car smell. It makes you feel like a million bucks.
So that scenario and this story are about shoes. But it’s really not about the shoes.
Meet Roger.
Right now, this 28-year-old husband and father of 2 truly feels like a million bucks, and his kind energy is contagious. This is Roger, and a pair of shoes that represent more than just some new kicks.
Roger was always a high-energy, competitive kid with a tenacious spirit. He was surrounded by family members trapped in addiction. Stability and safety were hard to come by—he was removed from his parents and later from his grandmother. Addiction and severe mental illness cast a shadowon this strong-willed kid.
Roger entered the California foster system—the largest in the country.
As is often the case, Roger moved from home to home while in the system, but all the while, he looked for something he could throw his energy into and that would help him feel part of a community. For Roger, that dream started to come into focus as he looked into wrestling and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
California Family Life Center (CFLC) first met Roger while he was in the foster care system and provided him with a safe home through our Resource Family Agency – Foster and Adoption. Since 1995, CFLC has provided resource homes for children while biological parents heal and receive the tools they need to reunite with their children. Adoptions ultimately provide “forever homes” when this is deemed the best course of action for the child.
Every CFLC child benefits from programs like our Giving Tree—opportunities for the community to show love and support.
One September, a CFLC social worker sat with Roger and his resource parent to dream up what could be on his Christmas wishlist. Roger did not hesitate. This was his chance. He wrote everything from wrestling shoes to a baseball hat and boxing gloves.
CFLC distributed thousands of these Angel wishlist cards across Southern California to rally support. One local motorcycle club came across Roger’s wishlist. They came across Rogers’ wishlists and decided to go all out for this kid. For the first time, Roger “got everything on his Christmas List”.
This was literally a Roger New Shoe moment. He didn’t even know these guys, but he knew they existed, and he wasn’t so alone. He felt like a million bucks.
It was time to start building this new future, one foot at a time. This moment helped kickstart Rogers’ martial arts journey. Throughout high school, Roger joined teams and excelled in competitions. His love for wrestling eventually led him to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
He was at home. Roger was finding a path that matched his determined personality, providing a physical outlet and fulfilling his search for community.
Jiu-Jitsu is about control—using timing and leverage, not force or inflicting damage. Together with CFLC and the community, Roger was able to stabilize and dream big.
The very nature of foster care is messy. Bio-family rights, trauma, and system constraints can be a minefield for a kid chasing a dream.
Rogers’ success is apparent but not necessarily linear. That is much of life for many of us. It is messy, but it can be beautiful when approached with grace and determination, as Roger does. The movement from home to home and the loss of bio-family connection are scars that may always remain for him, but the new shoe mentality and a sense of gratification and confidence are things Roger has achieved.
Roger continued to compete and place in every event. As an adult, he began coaching and built the wrestling program at a local high school, where he now serves as director. He has earned belts and won competitions nationally. He says, His proudest achievement is opening a family gym with his wife and two daughters.
Walking into Roger and his family’s studio feels like walking into a safe place. So here is Roger: creating a safe space in the community for families to learn a martial art in a community that promotes safety and leveraging difficult situations for good.
We know this story because Roger returned, seeking donors to thank and offering free lessons to foster youth. Last Christmas, his studio became a Giving Tree donation site, encouraging the community to help those like Roger.
Because of his journey of resilience and gratitude, and our partnership, Roger is making an impact in the community today.
In 2025, Giving Tree provided 5,000 gifts and partnered with 40 local businesses to support children and families. So, is this story really about shoes? Yes and no. This in-kind donation is tailored to the child and sends a message. Like Roger, they have big dreams—and the drive to pursue them.
Learn more at www.CFLCgivingtree.org
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This story was developed through IEHP Foundation’s Inaugural Storytelling for Fundraising and Advocacy Cohort.